So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize