No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
