He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
