Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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