Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
