hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
