Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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