$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
