it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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