We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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