So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I looked at my own cervix.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize