He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
