he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
