where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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