My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Fuck me I smell like cheese
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
