he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
