Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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