That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
