Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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