VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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