And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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