Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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