Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
