i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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