Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
