she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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