woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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