THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
