He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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