wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
