Your tits are I can't wait for
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
