I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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