i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize