We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
