My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
