More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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