you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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