So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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