I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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