dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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