And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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