the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
