I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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