I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
