I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
