4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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