Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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