I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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