the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize