Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Help. Why am I so naked?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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