My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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