The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why are your pants in the freezer?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
