i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
