we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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