Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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