Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
