My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
