just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
