ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
