Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
