I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
