remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
How does it feel to date your dad?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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