If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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