am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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