I didn't shave. On purpose
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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